Soooo I and Etti met up today. He booked a hotel room for us, which felt very awkward at first but it turned out okay. At least it wasn't the most awkward part, haha. I think I made him a bit nervous telling him about my virginity - putting a bit of pressure on him - since he couldn't keep it up for more than like a minute. I couldn't help but think it was because of my body, but I pushed those thoughts away. My body is nice. My body can be sexy. It wasn't because of my body.
It was seriously not a big deal, though. I feel the same now and it's like nothing has happened. Well, to be fair, almost nothing did happen. I don't think anyone of us was even close to climaxing and ... I don't know ... it just felt weird, haha. But, as Line told me when she called me afterwards: it gets better. And worse.
At least now I know that I'm not in love with Etti. Not because of the sex, oh god no, but I just am not. He's fun to hang out with, he's smart and good looking but I'm not in love. If he manages to keep it up he could be an okay fuck buddy I guess. HAHAH did I just write that?! Sit the f' down
I'm kind of glad that he lives so far away, that gives me time to think. It would have been horrible to face him, say, in school or church after the break is over. Aaaaawkard.
Oh, and I'm not in love with T either. Not even crushing. Lol. I read those words just a few days later and laughed at myself. He's extremely attractive, yes, and I'd sleep with him, yes. But it isn't even the tiniest crush.
